Welcome Forums DIY: Projects for Monster Rangers Kitchen Witchin'

This topic contains 8 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Herr Doktor Jungling 6 months, 2 weeks ago.

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    Susan Fox
    Monster Ranger

    Culinary magic, recipes from your campsite or your own cozy cauldron hearth.


    Susan Fox
    Monster Ranger

    Beastly Biscuits

    Quick energy and animal protein, fast meal on the go to keep your inner beast tamed.

    1 lb. sausage (I use Jimmy Dean Sage)  Note:  do not pre-cook the sausage!

    1 lb. shredded cheddar cheese (I use sharp cheddar–do NOT use Velveeta!!!)

    1 lb. Bisquick

    3/4 cup milk


    Mix together, roll into about 1-inch balls, and bake at 425 for about 12-15

    minutes, or until golden brown and delicious This makes 40-50 biscuits.


    Options: top with plain or garlic butter


    Susan Fox
    Monster Ranger

    Selene’s Scotch Shortbread

    2 parts* butter [real, salted]
    1 part sugar [any old sugar is ok, some like powdered, I like brown]
    3 part flour
    1 part rice flour or cornstarch

    Cream butter and sugar, add flours and mix really well. Pat it down well into a shortbread mold, pie pan or muffin tins, at least 1/2 inch thick and preferably thicker. Bake at 375 for 10 minutes, then turn the oven down to 325 and bake an additional 25-30 minutes or until just golden brown.

    * “part” as  volume measure like 1 cup.

    Note: you can use just four parts regular flour if you have to. But having 1/4 of it a non-gluten flour is important to the texture. Japanese ‘sweet’ rice flour, aka mochiko, will do nicely.  I have seen elderly Scots weep for their grandmothers with this stuff, true story.


    Ramen Noodle Salad

    •1/3 cup rice vinegar
    •2/3 cup oil (vegetable, canola, or avocado)
    •1 Tablespoon toasted sesame oil
    •1 Tablespoon soy sauce
    •2 Tablespoons honey
    •2 Ramen Flavor Packs (Oriental, Chicken, and Pork work best. Make sure both are the same whatever you use.)

    •1 bag coleslaw mix (16-ounce bag)
    •2 packs worth of ramen noodles, broken up into 1/2-1/4 pieces
    •1 bunch green onions, sliced
    •1 cup thinly sliced almonds
    •1 bag frozen edamame, defrosted, drained, and dried
    •1 cup Raisens, Craisins, Mandarin Oranges, or Diced Apples

    1) Whisk all dressing ingredients in a bowl until thoroughly combined. You may use a blender as well if you wish.
    2) In a bowl, combine coleslaw, onions, and edamame.
    3) Pour on dressing and stir gently to combine.
    4) Add ramen noodles, almonds, and fruit of your choice and stir gently again.
    5) Serve immediately or let chill in the fridge first.
    6) If camping, I use a gallon size zip-lock bag to mix everything. I poured it in steps and shook gently to combine at the different stages.
    7) If you want to add chicken to this, I would just make a little more dressing and add the chicken at step 2.


    Dill Salad

    •1 cup plain greek yogurt
    •5 tablespoons mayonnaise
    •1/4 cup fresh dill chopped (I used dried)
    •5 tablespoons rice or apple vinegar
    •1 teaspoon sugar
    •salt to taste

    •2 large cucumbers, cubed
    •1/2 sweet onion, diced
    •2 ears sweet corn, kernels removed from cob

    1) In a bowl, combine all dressing ingredients and stir until combined.
    2) Taste dressing and adjust to flavor preferences.
    3) Place all Salad ingredients into dressing bowl and gently stir till all covered and combined.
    4) Cover and let sit in the fridge for 1 hour before serving (it is better while cool).
    5) Optional additional veggies to add:
    slivered carrots, diced red bell pepper, seeded and diced tomato, diced red onion instead of sweet (if you want a little
    heat), or sliced radishes. If you add more than a cup total of any of these, you may want to increase the amount of
    dressing you make.


    Saucy Franks

    •1 lb hot dog franks, cut into 1/2″ slices
    •2 tbsp. butter
    •1 can condensed tomato soup
    •1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
    •1/2 lemon, 1/2″ slices
    •1 yellow or sweet onion, thinly sliced
    •1/4 cup brown sugar
    •1/4 cup water
    •2 tbsp. apple cider vinegar
    •Egg Noodles or Rice

    •In a skillet, on medium heat, brown franks lightly in butter. When browned, turn the heat down.
    •In a bowl, combine tomato soup, Worcestershire sauce, brown sugar, water, and apple cider vinegar.
    •Mix to combine and then pour over hotdogs.
    •Add onions and lemon slices.
    •Simmer, covered, about 10 minutes.
    •Remove lemons and cook, covered, 5 minutes longer.
    •Serve over hot buttered egg noodles or rice.


    Herr Doktor Jungling
    Monster Ranger

    I had posted this in the Medic area, but I think it applies here.  A little ghetto, but tasty!




    Herr Doktor Jungling
    Monster Ranger

    Alright, I usually keep this one close to the vest because my family and friends think I work my behind off on it and they love it.  I don’t want them knowing how easy it really is, so… shhhh, don’t tell them!


    Grandma Tilly’s Glazed Pork Ribs:

    • 2 racks St. Louis style ribs (3 racks if baby back)
    • 2 cups white distilled vinegar (I just pour a good amount in – I’m terrible about measuring when I cook)


    • 2 cups tomato catsup
    • 1 cup honey
    • 1 cup soy sauce
    • 1 cup whiskey
    • minced garlic to taste (I use 5 or 6 cloves, but I really like garlic)  WARNING:  Omit this if you’re expecting vampires as guests!
    • seasoned salt to taste (I use Lawry’s, but I couldn’t even start to guess at the amount)


    ***First, par-boil the ribs:

    Butcher the ribs to separate each bone, cutting evenly between the bones (I use a cleaver for this).  Place the ribs in a large stockpot and cover with hot water.  Add the vinegar to the ribs, bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer ~45 min.  Remove from heat, cover, and allow ribs to cool in the vinegar-water (I place the whole thing in my garage fridge until I’m ready to grill).

    Keep in mind that meat is like a thermal sponge… it loses moisture as it is heated and will reabsorb as it cools, so letting it cool in the vinegar-water adds some flavor to the meat and gets that acetic acid in there to start breaking it down… this results in super tender and moist ribs in the finished dish and failure to do this is, in my opinion, the reason a lot of people don’t like to par-boil meats.


    ***Now for the sauce (I like to think this is what people are talking about when they say, “awesome sauce!”):

    Combine the catsup, honey, soy sauce, whiskey, and garlic in a saucepan and bring to a simmer.  Add the seasoned salt and allow it to simmer for 1-1.5 hours, tasting and adjusting seasoning toward the end (45 minutes in seems to work well).  If you taste it too early the whiskey will be a bit overwhelming and you’ll likely end up unbalancing the seasoning.  It’s best to judge after most of the ethanol has evaporated.


    ***Finally, combine it all:

    Preheat a gas or charcoal grill to a high heat (the broiler works if the weather is bad or you’re in an apartment).  We are glazing here, not cooking or barbecuing, so the high heat works best – you just have to work fast to make sure you don’t get too much char.  Dip the ribs in the sauce and place on the grill.  Turn several times, basting each time, until the ribs have a bit of char and a nice, shiny, lacquered appearance.  Pull ’em off the grill and prepare to bask in the glory of an amazed audience.

    They’re also awesome cold the next day!


    Variations and personal notes:

    This is actually my grandparents’ recipe that we had at every family gathering during the summer when I was a kid (somehow, my wife and I inherited the role of family hosts, so the ribs are up to me now), adjusted by the addition of whiskey.  If you don’t want to use the liquor, do it like Grandma and substitute water instead.  If you don’t like the whiskey, but still want the umami flavour, use brewed coffee instead of whiskey.

    I like to serve this with double fried potatoes (julienne cut, fried once at about 325 F, cooled, and then fried a second time at around 400 F to allow them to “souffle” a bit) and a summer salad (just sliced cucumbers, tomatoes, and red onions tossed with salt, vinegar, and olive oil), but this might just be sentimental because it’s the way Grandma did it.

    There is usually extra sauce.  Last weekend I did 6 racks of St. Louis style ribs in a double batch of the sauce, so you might adjust the amount when you get a feel for it.  Also, the sauce is equally awesome on chicken and I use the same par-boil technique for chicken that I use for pork.


    Herr Doktor Jungling
    Monster Ranger

    Here’s the back story… skip ahead to the recipe if I’m being too long winded.

    I was a stay at home dad for eight years, during which time I thought I’d translate some ancient Roman recipes from Latin, update them, and put together a cookbook.  Turns out, very few of the recipes I could find would be suitable.  A lot of them are crazy patrician recipes that call for things like several pounds of flamingo tongue or a whole camel.  Some wouldn’t really appeal to modern audiences, like the whole part about how to properly raise mice to be fat enough to de-bone, stuff, and roast.  Then there’s the huge number of recipes that call for garum (pretty much the liquid byproduct of fermenting fish offal with salt and herbs)… few people are going to want to make their own garum or even eat the stuff.  Finally, there’s the “super bad idea” recipes like oenogarum (apparently a dessert condiment) – garum, fruit juice, and wine simmered in a lead vessel so that lead acetate forms and sweetens it (note that the soft drink industry does not use lead acetate as a zero-calorie sweetener for a reason).  I did strike on a couple that worked out, however, including this one that my daughter enjoys as a breakfast or dessert.


    Historical culinary note:  This is both an ancient cheesecake and an ancient doughnut!


    • 2 cups cheese curds or ricotta (I like it better, and it works better, with ricotta)
    • flour (shouldn’t need a whole lot)
    • 1/4 cup honey
    • poppy seeds

    Place the ricotta (or curds) in a mixing bowl and slowly mix in flour until it forms a slightly sticky dough.  Flour your hands, and roll the dough into balls slightly larger than a marble.  Drop the dough balls into a deep fryer at 375 F and allow them to fry until golden brown.

    Place the poppy seeds in a small mixing bowl.  In bain-marie, warm up the honey to make it less viscous.  Roll the freshly fried and hot globuli in the honey until coated, remove, and toss them with the poppy seeds to lightly coat them.  Let them cool on a cooling rack and they are ready to be served.


    Personal Notes

    I prefer to let them cool all the way to room temp or even place them in the fridge and have them cold.  My wife thinks they are better still warm and gooey and she doesn’t like the poppy seeds.  To be honest, I don’t think the poppy seeds add much to the dish and I suspect they are included just for the Roman host to show off that he can afford to use them judiciously… feel free to omit them, but do not omit the honey!

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